


Gossamer

by Corvivacious



Category: Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, me seeing sam: (hits the hood of google docs) this seuss character can hold so much trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28313973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvivacious/pseuds/Corvivacious
Summary: On their journey to East Flubria, Sam contemplates the mess that is his loneliness.
Relationships: Guy Am I & Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham), Guy Am I/Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	Gossamer

Another motel, another destination leading towards East Flubria. The travel was slow but familiarly pleasant for the duo, like frying up a green egg or two as the sun rose. 

But they were set in the brisk night now, the only lights illuminating from the attracting motel sign and the TV inside their room, and neither of them had conversed the whole day.

Guy figured his friend was just dealing with travel sickness, thought he couldn’t contest if that was it, exactly. Sam has always been the traveling type, practically skittering from town to town for a certain need, a goal that would sink the former con man in enough bruckles to keep him afloat.

Or maybe Sam was just nervous about seeing his mom after all this time. Sam was all about her as they started their journey, describing the many theories he had that he hoped would be reality in meeting her. But as the journey continued, Sam grew a bit more quieter, a lot less extravagant in his details. 

In fact, he barely mentioned her that night or the night before. Something about the silence unnerved the Knox; it was so abnormal to him. Nothing he had seen in Sam before.

Guy sat in his chair facing the television screen, pressing the channel button every once and awhile if something didn’t interest him. It was a continuous cycle that he didn’t pay any mind to. Despite his desire to not look back at Sam, he was all he could think about. More worried than anyone else could’ve been for the bandit.

Taking a chance, Guy paused his button pressing to take a slow shift towards Sam. Amidst the dark rested a short adult on the bed, curled up on his side facing the window, away from Guy seeing him. Normally, Sam would be seen with his bright, sunshine-like fur and red hat adorning it, not to mention the bubbly personality he escorted. 

But tonight was different. Sam looked more absent in reality than Guy had ever seen him. The traits that were once proudly displayed on Sam were now erased in the dark, like catching a candle wick between your fingers and letting the smoke release.

And like smoke, the scent was faintly intriguing, both all-too familiar, yet difficult to come near to. Guy wouldn’t want to bother Sam, anyway, whether or not he had the right words to say. Yet there was a part in him that hoped to ease the tension between them.

With a cautious walk towards the bed, the Knox made his way over to reach Sam’s back, tapping his shoulder gently. Immediately the bandit jolted awake, inhaling sharply from the contact before relaxing.

A few seconds passed before Guy spoke. “Sam?” He quietly asked. 

Sam didn’t answer.

Guy paused, nervous in disrupting his friend, yet he marched on. “Sam,” he tried again. “Are you asleep?”

“No.” Sam said. His voice stung with a sternness, yet his drowsy spell slurred his words. “Too awake to sleep now.”

“Sorry.” Guy apologized, soft. He tugged his paw away in guilt before Sam began to shuffle in his spot.

“Don’t be.” Sam remarked. Sluggishly, he adjusted himself on the bed to sit up, yet his shape remained lowered. His body faced the window with the lit sign and what little of the moon above shone upon him. 

Sam wrapped his arms around his waist before speaking again. “It’s fine.” He hoped that Guy would wave him off entirely, as if living in a pessimistic world-- _ ignore me, see if I care. Not like anyone ever did _ \--but Sam knew better than to lie.

He desperately wanted some sort of comfort, anything to keep his mind from spinning, twisting itself over and over until he felt sick in his stomach. But it was hard to untangle what was even  _ wrong _ with him in the first place.

His emotions were complicated even for him. Too much... _ stuff _ .

And yet a part of him was secretly hoping to untangle it with Guy. Just to get a sense of what his mind had cobbled into.

As if reading his mind, Guy uttered: “Do you...want to talk about it?”

“No. Yes.” Sam corrected himself. He kept his head low as Guy came forward and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. Unlike Sam, Guy had kept his hat on, though his fur was messily astray from lack of brushing. The former con man admired it, in a way; gave his bud some character. 

There was something so comforting about Guy’s presence. Perhaps it was the familiarity of him being around, or the gentleness he displayed to just about anyone he cared about. 

Perhaps it was the way he kept on a scowl to distance himself, but secretly held a tentative side. The way he showed that only to Sam.

It was yipping insane that Sam felt both adored and abashed by it.

Guy remained quiet, still in his spot, though his hand came in the space between them. A symbol that he would listen.

Frustrating harkener.

“Well,” Sam started. He struggled to find the best words in such little time, but nethertheless time for the Knox. “Do you ever get lonely?”

Guy’s head rose, taking his hand away, but only slightly. He gave a thoughtful  _ huff _ before directing his eyes out the window. “All the time.” He gave a self-depreciated chuckle at that. “Too many times to count.”

Sam took that information in. It wasn’t entirely new to him, as he quickly grew to know that they weren’t exactly the family type. They looked out only for themselves, never minding who could’ve potentially cared about them (or if they even cared at all). 

But both of them became a new chapter in each other’s books, now intertwined for however long.

Dilikins, Sam hoped it lasted long.

They remained quiet for a bit. Guy didn’t usher any answer back, though he could only figure as to why Sam brought the question up. “Do you?” He asked, resting his cheek on his hand, hoping to get a good look at his friend. “I-I mean,” he stammered. “I assume it would be. Traveling so much. Doing those..jobs of yours.”

Sam only lowered his head further down. Guy wasn’t clueless to his double life nor the side effects that came with it. But Sam hadn’t truly unraveled just  _ how _ lonely he was. Not in words, at least.

A grimace formed on his face, but he thought better of it to relax himself. Too much to say. Too much to think.

His breath was shaky in even forming the sentence. “Every day.”

Guy blinked in surprise. Despite knowing Sam front and back, a new addition of his life story unfurled each time.

“It’s like…” Sam attempted. He became less hunched in order to use his paws, to demonstrate his feelings the best he could. Yet all he could do was stare at them. “It’s like every day I experience this tic in my brain. I don’t know why it exists. It’s just there.

“And every time I had found someone that didn’t find me completely unbearable, that tic appeared. With every person, it got worse. I started to doubt myself. I wondered if there was any point in trying.” Sam paused. His voice was coarse, and despite his initial purpose for his paws, he could only rub them over the other to regain composure.

Sam continued. “And..” his tone hitched, bearing to hear his own words, “even when I’m with you I feel...lost. As if you’ll leave too and I become the person I never wanted to be again, but worse now. And I k-know better than to believe what my mind says to me everyday but--” He stopped again. He had one paw over his head, brushing his tufts away. Too much stuff. Too much stuff.

Guy remained silent, though his face striked a different reflection. His eyes were full, soft in his expression as he looked back at Sam. He dared himself to place a paw on the man’s shoulder, anything to make it known that he wouldn’t leave him.

To make it known that he was cared for. Cherished. 

Still, Guy kept his mouth closed and eyes on Sam. It said so much in so few words:  _ Go on. _

Getting his bearings, Sam ushered on. “ _ Alone _ is my one and only defining trait. You get used to it after 30 or so years, but it doesn’t get easier.”

Sam, presumably finished, let his body hunch down again. More silence between them prevailed before Guy took a long exhale. “You’re afraid of being alone, aren’t you?”

Funny. Guy was quick to catch onto the criminal’s thoughts exactly. 

It took a moment for Sam to really process that question, as Guy was painfully right in his assumption. “..Yeah.” He said, nodding glumly. A strained chuckle emerged as he looked up at Guy finally. “Probably more afraid now that I have you.”

Guy looked back at him. The moon became full just like Guy’s eyes were, casting its glow upon Sam. He looked exhausted, but content. He carried this little, lopsided smile as to break the allusion that he just ripped and teared his heart open to someone he cared most about. 

Sincerity shone through every part of Guy as he peered through Sam’s eyes, his urge to say or  _ do _ something clawing its way out. Too much stuff. Too much stuff.

Guy hesitated--his breath, his everything--before gingerly placing his paw on Sam’s, the one placed on his lap. The former criminal’s eyes widened at this and the Knox, his heart going a bit faster than he’d like to admit, as their fingers began to intertwine. Guy gave a gentle smile back, a twinge of amusement resting on his lips.

“Sam, I--” He started, pausing to formulate his thought process. “I’m no good at making promises, and I can’t determine what will happen in the near future. But I hope that what we have now makes you less alone. Like it has for me.”

The beating in Sam’s chest rose. Maybe it was the way Guy subconsciously rubbed his thumb over his, or the way Guy’s smile was rare yet all the more inviting and pleasant to see. He couldn’t help but return that smile, but brighter.

“I couldn’t be happier.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this! i like doing these little self-reflective scenes and exploring the character (and tbh i didn't have to look far to give sam that emotion he expresses here ha). 
> 
> this is a sorta gift for my friend reggae who tempted me to write this off a prompt and i managed to in about 4 hours. it was a lot of fun 
> 
> find me on twit/insta/tumblr @ corvivacious


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